My Thoughts 2

Satou Sabally Is Going To Be My Girlfriend (5/18/2023)

Satou Sabally is fine man. Super fine. You know how the Incredibles have superpowers and how Superman can do anything? Yeah, that's Satou on a basketball court. And off the court? LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!! She can win Miss USA and any beauty pageant any day at any time. My other celebrity crushes, Tinashe, Sawette, Rubi Rose, and Jordyn Woods, are fine too but right now I want Satou. She's a champ, I'm a future legend, so we can get together and become the greatest in our professions together. I don't care that I'm a Christian and she's a Muslim. Tokyo Drift put a Nissan RB26 into a Mustang and it still hauled ass in the mountains aka our relationship can definitely work. I just have to be patient and not leave her when the first sign of trouble strikes like I've always done. And the money? I'll hold my own with that and not rely on her money somehow. But yeah man, you heard it here first. Dallas Wings player Satou Sabally is going to be my girlfriend one day and if everything works out, she will be my wife too. Believe that!

I Can Feel It (5/13/2023)

My life is about to change man. For the better. And I swear, I can feel it each and every day. The MoRiginal, thanks to Musicvertizing, is doing better on Spotify than all my releases in the past 10 years combined. Saves. Active repeat listeners. Like damn, do I really deserve this? I know I've worked hard but this love for The MoRiginal feels like a gift from God. The MoRiginal 2, the follow up to The MoRiginal, drops on the 18th and the follow up to that, The MoRiginal 3, is already recorded. Thanks to legendary Yokohama Japan producer DJ PMX, my music was able to reach its current level. Without his advice, which I'm truly grateful for, I'd still be trying to figure out how to get my music to sound good. My life is bout to change man. I can feel it in the air and I can feel it in my soul. I might just be in the last days of my independent rap career. My last days as a normal person. I prayed for this so I can't complain about the lack of privacy once I become a celebrity but if these really are my last days before the fame, got damn, what a hell of a ride!

Killing Ain't Cool 11/1/2022

I'ma keep it real with you on this: No one should be killed unless they're in a life or death situation where they themselves are trying to kill someone. In that situation, all bets are off and may the best man live. Other than that, no one should be killed by another person intentionally. Now, I can't talk as I get homicidal when I get really pissed off but I'm going to speak from the rationality of a calm mind. Killing the body isn't the same as breaking the body. A broken body will heal while a killed body is dead forever. It don't matter what you do medically. Once a body is a corpse and its soul is gone, there's nothing you can do to bring it back to life. Love each other. Support each other. Uplift each other and stop killing each other. Everybody deserves to lie in their bed after a day in the streets no matter who they are, what they do for a living, or where they live. Killing ain't cool. Remember that.

Why Can't Black People Unconditionally Support Their Own? 4/25/2022

I'm multi racial but have always considered myself black. And why not? This race is awesome and is usually at the forefront of global culture. That said, why can't black people unconditionally support their own?

In America, we have what is known and marketed as black owned businesses. That right there is something I don't get. Are Asians marketing their businesses as Asian owned businesses? No. Are Whites marketing their businesses as white owned businesses? No. And are Hispanics marketing their businesses as Hispanic owned businesses? No. Why? Cause each of those races support their own without a visible incentive to do so.

Me personally, I don't care what race you are. If I like you and your product, I'm going to support you. Black people are strong, intelligent, and crucial to the global culture and economy. And that's why we blacks must support each other like the other races do their own- unconditionally.

Confident, Yet Grounded 4/8/2022

I have a lot of confidence in regards to what I believe I can do in life and how competent I am at certain skills. Unfortunately, most people misinterpret that confidence as arrogance, although I am as grounded as one can get. I'm not humble, I will admit that, and I refuse to listen to criticism from someone who lacks firsthand experience in what they're criticizing me on. Like, my thing is this. If you have a full driver's license, would you take advice on how to drive a car by someone who doesn't even have a learner's permit? Exactly. If you can't make a rap beat on your own without help then you have no right to criticize me on the beats I make. Same with rapping. If you can't rap over a beat using your own rhymes without issues, then you have no right to criticize me on how I flow over a beat. For real. If you can't do what you're criticizing me on, then shut the fuck up or learn how to do it and "then" talk. But yeah man. I'm not arrogant nor am I humble. I've been through too much shit without help or emotional comfort to be humble. Instead, despite what people online believe, I'm confident. Extremely confident. I believe I can do anything I set my mind to if I put in the required work and I believe that I'm the greatest rapper in the history of the rap music genre. One day, I will make it to the top and when I do, all my critics will realize that I was what I always said I was: Confident, yet grounded.

We Are All Connected 3/22/2022

I don't think people realize how connected we are as a society. Everything a person does affects another person in some shape or form. You can't avoid occasionally doing bad but you can make a deliberate effort to do good as often as you can. No one is going to live forever and me personally, I'm going to live my life making decisions that I can look back on when I'm dead getting judged by God with happiness and a smile instead of a fear and a frown.

I'm Just Going To Be Me (11/10/21)

When it comes to my rap career, I'm not where I want to be for one main reason and that reason has nothing to do with anyone but me. I got mad love for America and while I doubt they have the same love for me, I realize that I have to market my brand effectively to separate myself from all the other artists trying to gain the attention of the same amount of rap music fans. Ever since I graduated high school, the one main barrier that was preventing me from getting me a well paying job was a driver's license, which I got this past July. Now, things are going good in my life. I'm at peace internally and I'm doing well in school. And I'm learning things that directly benefit my rap career too. So yeah, I'm mad thankful for how my life has turned out thus far. I will say this though: I am nowhere near satisfied with my current position in life. I want more. Way more. And I have every intention to work my ass off until I get where I want to be. Right now, I'm letting God direct my path. I'm going to do everything I can in the present to create the future I desire for myself but I'm going to let God handle the things I can't see. I'm going to let God handle the things I can't control. My time of success in music and life will come and no one but God can stop it from happening. When that time comes, and I don't know how or when, I will seize it like the Feds seize a Cartel ship full of cocaine and make the most of it until God deems its time for me to move on to something else. And I will do all of that by being myself. By being true to who I am. Cause after all, I'm just going to be me and I always will.

My Dream As An Emcee (11/8/21)

A lot of people in my profession are content with making money and being popular. Not me. I will not be content as a musician until I am on the top 10 all time greatest rappers in every city on this planet. I may not have much money to invest in my career right now but I do have the time to gain knowledge and skills. I have God and I have my life. I am happy and at peace. The way I see it, if I was meant to be successful at rap right now, I would be successful at this point in time. If I was meant to be rich right now, I'd be rich at this point in time. My point? I am right where God intends me to be at this point in my life. When God is ready to make me successful, he will guide the steps that will make that happen and until he's ready, I will remain unknown like I currently am. My time will come and my dream as an emcee will eventually come true. But until then, I will keep doing what I can to make my dream as an emcee a reality.

Think Big: A Poem (10/26/21)

To succeed you must believe

To shine you must think

Bigger than anyone else

And that includes yourself

Don't stop at the mountain

Go for the furthest planet

Past Pluto and matter

To where Angels are magnets

Believe in yourself

Aim as high as you see

To think big is big wealth

Whether you professional or emcee

So Focused, So driven 10/25/21

A lot of guys my age want to get money and get laid. Me? I just want to get success and cash. Romance and sex are the furthest from my daily thoughts nowadays. I just want to be the best at what I do, worldwide. Every day, I make progress towards my goals. Every single day, whether I feel like doing the tasks or not. To me, the top of the rap game and society means everything. Nothing else holds serious weight in my heart outside of God and Jesus. The top. The financial 1%. I want to get there and I WILL get there no matter what I got to sacrifice, excluding my friends, family, and my soul, to get there. I only have one life and I'll look back and reminisce once I have achieved all I am meant to achieve. So yeah, so focused, so driven, is my current mentality. The top of the rap game and the financial 1%. I will get there or die trying. Believe that!

Gotta Check Myself 10/22/2021

Sometimes, I gotta check myself. When I be on my online music platforms and look at my stats, I get pissed and ready to wage war due to the low, usually zero, play stats on my music from the United States. Its frustrating and I be wanting to pull a Boston bomber and just kill random people at times. However, at the same time, I gotta realize that the viewers of my music profiles can't see the stats I can see. To them, I come off as a bonafide anti-American asshole when I express my frustration and anger towards them. I mean, considering my goals as an artist and the fact that your darkest nights come before your brightest days, I have to be patient and market myself, whether I like it or not. I'ma keep it a hundred. I currently have very few similarities with the current crop of American rap fans. The music I listen to, they don't listen to and the way they operate, I don't operate. I have more in common with American rap fans of the 90s and early 2000s than the current era. I just have to market myself and buy new recording equipment to make better quality music, and most importantly, I have to check myself when I get mad at a demographic for things they can't see and be patient while God does his thing.

It Is What It Is (10/6/2021)

You can not change people. You can help influence that change, but you can not bring it about on their own. People grow. People evolve. One year a person may think God isn't important, and the next that same person will believe that God is great. I know for a fact that I will get my turn on top of the rap game if I keep pushing forward. And I know that I will have a lot of people with changed opinions on my music once that day comes. Its annoying to be honest with you but it is what is. I don't care where my fans come from nor what they previously thought about me. All I care is that they rock with me for me. So yeah, when my time on top comes, you can quote this post as I accepted my rap career for what it is and forgave those who once ridiculed and stood against me.

I Will Make It 9/3/2021

I got a lot of haters man. A ton of them. Every time someone reviews my music its always negative. Always. Its like damn, can't I get some positivity for once? But it is what it is. I don't fit the typical rapper narrative. I do pretty much everything myself and I make the type of music I enjoy listening to. One thing I have realized is that everyone is entitled to their own opinion positive or negative. I can't get mad at it because its not a fact and getting angry will only waste time that could be used to further myself in my career. One day, everybody who criticized me will tell everyone how they encountered me. Trust me. I will make it.

Open Letter To Da Baby (7/30/2021)

Dear Da Baby,

My name is Alex Coleman, a young emcee on the rise from Baltimore Maryland. You likely do not know who I am and I am not one of your fans. Personally, I think your music, excluding Rockstar, is harder to listen to than a teacher grating her nails across a chalkboard. However, after reading articles on various websites about your recent comments at one of your shows, I felt the need to speak my mind; even if you never happen to read it.

To start, I don't care about your comments. Do I think they're offensive? No. Do I think they were uncalled for? Absolutely. I don't hate any general group of people. I personally think homosexual sex is disgusting and the naked male body nasty but I have no issue with the LGBTQ community so long as gay men respect my heterosexuality and keep their advances to themselves. Believe it or not, even though I voted against gay marriage in Maryland in the 2012 election, every person deserves to love who they love. You can't choose who your attracted to man. You can take a gay man to a strip club with all night free lap dances but you can't make him enjoy the women. If anything you'll piss him off and make him hate you for the rest of your life.

You are a celebrity with big time bills and big time audiences. You are a role model with young kids around the world looking up to you. Its too late to reveal who you are now. Why? Because you made too much money and gained too much fame portraying an image that isn't you. You rose up with that image? Then maintain that image until your career is over. People and companies have invested in that image and now its your responsibility to honor what those entities have invested in.

As for me? I was real from the jump. I never once portrayed an image that wasn't reflective of who I really am. Heck, my stage name is actually my birth name. I've been me from the jump and while I'm not as famous as you, at least I know the people who rock with me do so because they like who I really am. I have always been me on and offline and I will be me until the day I die.

Regarding your aids comments, all I'ma say is do your research. Things are not as bad as they were when aids were first discovered. Technology and medical advancements have done that. On this front, I'm not criticizing you. I'm just saying, do your research.

Lastly, if you are going to reveal who you truly are to the public while ditching that persona you rose up with, don't quit and try to backtrack once the backlash gets too heavy. Stand firm, and deal with the heat until you turn into a sword or ashes. If you're going to be true to you, then do so to the end. I personally have no beef with you and I wish you all the best. Stay strong, stand firm, and God bless.

- Alex J Coleman

Later For Em' (6/13/2021)

Society is something else man. Society is something else. They only value you when you're rich, famous, or possess something that can be of use to them and they ignore you and shut you out when you decide to live differently than them. I don't like them man. I really don't. I respect and value everybody equally but I can't stand the fake soft society that I'm forced to be apart of. Like for real, where are the real people at? Where are the honest people at? Why do people loathe to see you win but love to see you lose? I want everybody to win. I don't want anybody to lose. We can all have our turns at the top and sadly, it seems that I'm one of the only people that feels that way. So yeah, society? Later for em'. I can do without them and their fake, jealous, and selfish natures.

No Position In Life Remains The Same (6/12/2021)

In life, no matter how good or bad your current position is, it will eventually change. And when you are trying to become something or do something that is challenging, eventually you will succeed. No one stays on top forever and no one stays at the bottom forever. We all get our turn at the table of success and God blesses everyone equally. So yeah, if you're currently grinding or struggling, trust that things will get better for you and if you are currently living it up at the top, trust that God has someone being groomed to take your place. Why? Because no position in life remains the same.

Can I Get A Wish (A Poem) 6/11/2021

Can I get a wish

To fly

Like a ball swish

And grind

People are fake

But I'm real

Its like steak

On the grill

Rain's heavy

Sun's bright

Bars ready

For the mic

In time

I will shine

So grant my wish

So I can fly

I am Owed Nothing (6/10/2021)

In this life, I am not owed anything, including the air that I breathe. Everything I have received and will receive is a blessing from the Lord above. Even the things I work hard for, are a blessing from God. I am thankful for every experience in my life good and bad as the good experiences bring me happiness and the bad experiences bring me wisdom. So yeah, in this life I am owed nothing and that will be the case until my heart permanently stops beating.

The Game Won't Change Me (6/9/2021)

A lot of artists in the music business, specifically the rap game, end up changing who they are as artist's to please the masses and appease the labels they are signed to. But me? No matter how popular I become, the game will not change me. I'll still be answering questions on Quora, I'll still be striving to blow my previous release out of the water with my latest release, I'll still be making dope beats and writing dope rhymes and I'll still be listening to global rap music and reading literature on a regular basis. I rap because I love it, not because I want to become famous for it. If anything, I'll have to start promoting my releases so that they have a chance at succeeding. Again, a lot of artists have changed as a result of fan and record label demands. But trust me when I tell you- The game won't change me.

I Can Only Be Me (6/8/2021)

One thing I've realized over the years that people are going to judge you regardless of what you do. You can end worldwide poverty and there will still be someone criticizing you for not giving them more money. Elon Musk has changed many lives for the better and still lost a million dollars in valuation for his company, I think Tesla, for simply smoking a blunt on a live podcast. Nobody is perfect, I get that, but if all the fake and selfish people of the world were wiped out the world would be a much better place. I'm serious. Their existence makes the lives of real people like me very aggravating. Anyways, I'm going to be me regardless of what people say and how people feel. I wasn't born to be liked. I was born to fulfill the purpose God sent for me to do and die. So yeah, I can only be be and I will be me until the day I d.i.e.

One Life ( A Poem) 6/7/2021

You only have one life

Once its gone its gone

You only have so much time

After that you see God

No matter how you live

The clock keeps ticking

So whether you take or you give

The grim reaper is watching

No one knows when they'll go

Except the man upstairs

So be thankful for your life

And live it up without fear

Mainstream Influences (6/5/2021)

I've never been one to intentionally take elements from the mainstream music business and apply it to my own music without seriously modifying it. But while recording my upcoming mixtape Elemental Freedom, which I'm still not finished, I had fun applying a core element from a mainstream artist most wouldn't expect to my tracks. The artist and element? Nicki Minaj and her alter ego style wordplay. Now, I don't have an alter ego and I won't ever will but I had a lot of fun rapping over my beats in different voice tones and speeds. It was less tiring as well. So yeah, that being said, Nicki Minaj is the latest and most direct mainstream influence on my music as unlike the other mainstream artists I take things from, I applied Nicki Minaj's style of rapping to my own music with minimal modifications.

Obligation (6/4/2021)

As a man that was raised and helped back on his feet with Maryland tax dollars, I feel obligated to make it as world famous as New York and California through my success as a hip hop artist and businessman. Larry Hogan, the current Maryland governor, is probably my least liked politician in the history of Maryland politicians. I respect that he's trying to build up Maryland's roadway infrastructure but vetoing multiple public transit bills that would greatly help the Baltimore region? C'mon man. This is ridiculous. This dude does not care one bit about Baltimore. This is his last term and I hope his successor is more public transit oriented, even though I will likely have my driver's license by the time he/she gets sworn in. As for me, when I start making serious money and gain a platform that influence people like these celebrities are doing, I'm going to put Maryland, and Baltimore, on my shoulders and take it to the top of the world. When my casket is lowered into the ground after 120 years of life on this earth, the Baltimore area and the state of Maryland will be as famous as the state of California and the city of Los Angeles. Why? Cause its my obligation.

Rap Revelation

I'm not in the game to be famous. I'm not in the game to be rich either. Don't get me wrong, I do desire to make a living making music but at the same time I don't want to deal with the bullshit of being a famous rapper either. I don't like self promotion and while I say I'm the greatest rapper of all time in my songs and Instagram posts, I don't go around telling everyone I meet that I'm a rapper.

Fame. What's the point of fame? What's the point of having everyone in the world know your name? What's the point in working hard to attain fame when the world can destroy everything you worked and prayed for by cancelling you after you do or say something the world doesn't like? And then there's the illumaniti and Satan worshiping going on within the world's famous elite. I'ma tell you right now, I am not turning my back on the holy father and Jesus Christ for a lifetime of fame and wealth.

There are a lot easier ways to become a multimillionaire and there are much easier ways to make an impact on the world than being a famous entertainer. Plus, the majority of recording artists that you think are rich are broke as hell due to bad recording contracts. And the worst part in my eyes? Nearly every rapper in this game is living a completely different life than the life they're rapping about. Like yo, how is money ain't a thing when you can't even buy a multimillion dollar mansion in Beverly Hills in one go in cold hard cash? How you a gangsta when you roll with security and don't even have a reputation of being a badass? Like seriously, let's be real here. Most rappers in this game are fake as fuck.

As for me, I'm different. I don't rap about things that I haven't lived or don't want to live. I am not a gangsta, I am not from the hood, and I am not a thug. I am simply a city born emcee raised in the suburbs. Fame? Y'all can keep that as the more I learn about the mainstream rap game the less I want to be apart of it.

My goal as a rapper is to go down as the undisputed global greatest rapper of all time.

Achieving that goal will require a lot of time and daily effort just to get to the starting line of that goal. I have to learn languages one by one from square one just to get the opportunity to gain fans in languages different than my native English. Its not easy and to most it seems crazy to even attempt. But I don't care. I've never been one to do things the easy way and I'm not about to start now. The best views occur after the hardest climbs and while it will take decades for me to see the view that I want to see, at least that view will be a view that few, if any, ever get to see.

Humanity (A Poem)

The eyes can see light

But they can not see dark

Everything is reflected

Across surfaces of art

The soul makes the being

The being does not make the soul

No matter how much you protest

The body will turn cold

So enjoy your life

As not a second is promised

Humanity is real

And life must always be be honest

Wanna Diss Me? Be Careful What You Wish For.

I'm a laid back peaceful guy that mostly minds his own business on and offline. I don't stick my nose into the business of others nor do I start shit with people unwarrantedly. With this rap shit, while I want to outshine everyone in the game, I do not want anyone to suffer any setbacks so that I can have an easier path to the top. I want every rapper and singer in the rap game to have as much success as possible and I'm being real. That said, if you have some type of issue with me and you think you can solve it by dissing me on a track, I promise you, that is the wrong move for you to take. I will not threaten you, I will not diss your locale, and I will not diss your family or friends that have nothing to do with me. Instead, I will diss you and only you by insulting you with no profanity over a hard beat. Even if you threaten me or my family, I will not respond with threats. Why? Cause that shit is weak and following through on threats will land you and/or me behind bars. So again, do not diss me, especially if I did nothing to wrong you. You will be embarrassed by lines you and the listener will have to figure out. And yes, I can easily break the complex lines down if you're too dumb to figure them out yourself. So yeah, don't diss me on a track if you don't want to be embarrassed. You've been warned. 410sb.

Only God Can Judge You

One thing I have realized over the years is that the opinions of others hold no serious weight in my life unless its genuine constructive criticism. I could gain the powers of God for a day and cure HIV/AIDS for everyone on this planet and still have people criticizing me for not curing the vision issues of the blind. The reality is, as Salt n' Pepa' said on the song None of Your Business, "Opinions are like assholes everybody has one". Opinions are just that. Opinions. The reality is that the only opinion that truly matters in this life is God's-that's it. Only God can judge you and when you're standing in front of him along with his angels in mortal court getting grilled about the life you lived while alive, the opinions people had of how you live when you were alive won't be worth anything, if not mentioning. That said, remember that only God can judge you and live your life the way you want to.

Fake Profiles & Internet Gangstas

Why does it seem that its the people with private social media profiles that talk the most shit online? Like for real. People with public profiles aren't nowhere near as disrespectful as the people with private profiles. Me personally, I don't take shit from anybody anymore. I don't care who you are. You are going to respect me or I'm going to do what's legally allowed to handle my business. Real shit. I respect everyone off and online and I will never understand these internet gangstas that refuse to do that. Call them trolls, clowns, wannabe gangstas, whatever. If there were no legal consequences for murder I'd hunt each one of them down and gun them down closed casket funeral style. For real. Clowns that feel its ok to disrespect other people unwarrantedly shouldn't be breathing. The old Alex J Coleman that took shit from people like a toilet is dead and gone. That version of myself does not exist anymore. Why? Cause I've realized that its better to receive a brutal beatdown standing up for yourself than it is to swallow your pride, look like a bitch, and walk away unscathed. I'm not God and I don't want to be God but if I was God I'd add the following 11th commandment and send everyone that breaks it more than 3 times to the worst part of hell. That commandment? Thou shall not disrespect someone that has not disrespected them. On everything man. These internet gangstas with the mostly fake profiles need to chill or get killed, legally of course.

Letter To My Future Child

Dear child of Alex J Coleman and (mother yet to be named),

To start, I am very grateful to have you. Regardless of your gender, sexual orientation, mental or physical disability, I am very blessed to have you in my life. That said, there are some important things you need to know as I am not the typical father that's going baby you for your whole life and save you from every difficulty in life.

To start, I am not your friend. Read that again. I am not your friend. I am your father. We can be cool and share laughs, smiles and good times together like friends but in the end I am your father and I expect to be treated as such. To that end, disrespecting me nor your mother will not be tolerated. If you are a male, you will get your ass whooped with either a wet towel or a leather belt. If you are a female, you will get publicly embarrassed or an ass whooping from your mother.

Second thing, this is your life. I am merely your guide, not your God aka my job is to prepare you for the rest of your life, not dictate everything you do. Until you reach the age where your mind is developed enough to make sensible decisions and comprehend the consequences of said decisions, I will guide you by educating you on the essential life lessons that I feel you need to know, including the lessons I learned the hard way. I will also support you in whatever passion you develop to the best of my ability. I will punish you when you do wrong and reward you when you do right cause again, I am your father, not your God.

Third thing. Once I feel that your mind is developed enough to make rational decisions and understand the potential consequences of said decisions, I will take the training wheels off and guide you like an presidential advisor. Your mother may baby you, but I will not. I don't care if you want to kill someone who beat you up in high school. I will not stop you from doing what you truly want to do. I will go over all the potential consequences with you, attempt to get you to calm down, give you space to chill out, whatever. But once you have made a firm decision to do what you want to do, I will fall back and let you do you. Why? Because this is your life and I am your father, not your God.

Fourth thing. As you grow up from birth to age 13, every passion you develop will be supported no matter how outlandish it is to the best of my ability. Once you turn 13 however, I will make you pick the passion that you love the most so that you can start putting in the work to be the greatest at it. This is non negotiable. If you don't like it, I will give up my parental rights and exit your life. Why? Because I want you to be great and raising a child that doesn't want to be the greatest at their passion is too much of an emotional burden for me to bear. Honestly though, I don't think you will have an issue choosing a passion that you would want to be a legend at cause after all, if I raised you right, you will already have a greatness chasing impossible is nothing mindset.

Fifth thing. When it comes to sex and romance, I'm not going to intervene too much. Date who you want to date, fuck who you want to fuck, love who you want to love. Regardless of my personal feelings on the person you have chosen, I'm going to be mostly hands off. Now your mother on the other hand...

Sixth thing. As you probably know by now, this is a Christian household. In this household, God and Jesus Christ reign supreme. I won't force you to go to church but you will be expected to say grace before every meal, pray before bed, pray after you wake up, and life your life as if Jesus is watching your every move. Remember, God can do all things and as long as you roll with God, life will always be amazing.

Seventh thing. In addition to Christianity, you will be raised according to the laws of karma. I will teach you from an early age the way karma works and how to manipulate it to your favor. If you don't beat people up, you won't get beat up. If you help someone in need, one day you will be helped when you are in need. Either way, karma works like this: What you give is what you get be it good or bad.

Eighth thing. While I cannot speak for your mother, I will not require you to do any chores around the residence. You will not be paid by me for doing them either. Why? Because doing chores for money develops an employee mindset. Why is that a bad thing? Because you can't pass down your job to your child unless you are the owner of your own business. So, what will I have you do for allowance? I will have you read self-help books and watch videos about entrepreneurship. You see, if you don't come from a rich family, a rich family must come from you. I may be laying the foundation of our family but I can't build it into a skyscraper on my own. You don't need to be an employee building someone else's dream. You need to be a business owner building your own dream while hopefully, allowing me to assist you in building that dream.

Eighth thing. When it comes to life's hard times, I will allow you to overcome them on your own. I will help you if things get too overwhelming, but until you reach your breaking point, I will let you struggle on your own. Why? Because hard times make you strong. You can make your muscles strong by working out but the only way the mind and spirit grow strong is through trials and tribulations. You are my child and as much as I love you, I need you to be as strong as you can as I won't be able to protect you forever.

Last thing. I love you with all my heart but I am your father above all else. No matter how close we become, I will not allow you to forget that. If I raise you right, you will be mentally strong with a business owners mindset with an insatiable thirst for greatness with the work ethic to match. And I forgot to mention- quitting something you start is not ever going to be an option. I don't care how much you rant and rave, once you start a task, you WILL see it through to its end no matter how hard it gets. The only exceptions are race restarts and mission redo's in video games. Why? Because even though you're starting over, you are still moving forward. Quitting is a habit and once you quit once, it becomes extremely hard to break the habit it eventually becomes. And yes, I'm speaking from experience as the quitting habit I broke in the fall of 2017 began with the quitting of a skateboarding video game on Gameboy Advance in 2004. So yeah, quitting anything you start because its hard, will not ever be tolerated. I love you and God bless you.

Sincerely,

Your father, Alex J Coleman

Rapper For Life

I don't think I'll ever stop rapping. Even when I'm an old man with six grandchildren and four kids. I love it too much to stop. The lyric writing, the beat making, the recording, the album artwork designing- I love it all. Performing live is nice but I prefer the creative process over performing because of the joy I get spending time creating a new rap album. And another thing. I don't release singles. I release albums. I don't know how much time I have left on this earth nor do I know God's plans for me career-wise, but regardless of what I end up doing to pay the bills (God willing, rapping), I will be making rap albums in my free time.

The Victory Is Sweeter When They Don't Believe

A lot of people probably think I'm going to eventually quit rapping because they aren't supporting me. They probably think that I'm going to eventually conform and start making the music that "they" like to listen to. They probably believe that I can't succeed at this rap shit doing thing my way by myself. And to those people, I have this to say: Don't hold your breath as you just might end up dying.

I will not ever quit rapping until I am firmly established as the undisputed global greatest rapper of all time. My childhood dream was to become a soldier in the U.S military, specifically a rifleman in the U.S Marine Corps. I chased that dream to the bitter end. Even though people with mental illnesses are not allowed to join the military, I did not know that growing up. Everyone from my parents to my therapists encouraged me when I shared my dreams of being a soldier. I realized that my rifleman dreams were indeed impossible in a state mental hospital while awaiting trial for stealing a car. I don't think people get how emotionally painful it is to have something you have wanted your entire life stripped from your grasp by a factor outside of your control. True, I didn't attain that dream, but in late 2013 I was more prepared for it than I ever was. To this day, it still hurts whenever I think about the loss of my dream of being a rifleman. I already lost my childhood dream and looking back, that loss was a blessing in disguise as avoiding that pain with this rap shit is propelling me forward despite the difficulties I am facing.

To my haters, doubters, and everyone else who is standing in my way in this rap shit, you will be in for a shitload of pain if you don't get out the way. This isn't like running you over with a car. There are no laws punishing the destruction of those that stand in the way of one's dreams. I'm not slowing down and I'm not changing lanes. I will keep my foot to the floor, run right through you, and build my empire on top of your corpse.

Independent hip hop artist Supreme Royale has a song called Wings and a line from that song is the title of this post. When I succeed as a rapper, when I finally break through doing things my way despite the opposition I have faced, the victory is going to be sweeter than the sweetest substance known to man. All my efforts, all my pain, once I succeed, it will be all worth it. Again, no one can stop my rise to the top of this rap shit. No one. And since life gives everyone who perseveres a chance at the top, eventually, I will get mine. Why? I'm not going to quit until I succeed. And remember, the victory is sweeter when they don't believe.

You Got To Be Thankful

With all that's going on in the world and my current position in life, I have to occasionally remind myself to be thankful for the life that I have. Don't get it twisted, I am not where I want to be in life. In fact, I am far from it. However, I am much closer to where I want to be than I ever once was. Life is a series of trenches and mountaintops with a few plains and plateaus thrown in until the day you die. There will be good times, there will be bad times, there will be smooth times, and there will be rough times. Regardless of what stage you find yourself in you got to be thankful because your life can end at any time and once you're dead, there's no escaping the place you find yourself in within the afterlife.

One Day, You Will Realize

One day, you will realize that I'm the best rap music artist to ever rock a mic. I don't have love now, and there's a ton of mutual animosity between myself and American rap music fans, but one day I will be the most loved emcee in the world. Why? Cause once I'm making enough money to live the lifestyle I want to live, I intend to use the rest of my wealth to help people less fortunate than me. I don't plan on owning multiple mansions around the world as I just want a top floor penthouse in my hometown. I don't plan on signing any endorsement deals either as I want nothing to do with those silly commercials companies love to do. I'm not going to live forever and I want to be remembered long after I'm gone. When my dead body is buried in a cemetery, I want people to remember me as the greatest rapper that ever lived, the most authentic rapper that ever lived, the greatest father that ever lived, and the most caring rapper that ever lived. I will be the greatest human that ever walked on this earth and one day, you will realize that.

Pain

December 12 2018

Pain. Everybody experiences it. Some feel it when they're about to die. Others feel it after they die. As for me, pain is how I grow. But I don't mean nerve caused pain. I mean the pain of adversity. Growing up, all I wanted was to be accepted. I wanted to have friends and I wanted to have girls like me. From the years 2003 to 2014, I experienced the pains of adversity and growth so much that I was ready to either kill myself or kill someone else. However, looking back at how much I've grown and the lessons I have learned, I wouldn't change a single thing if I went back in time to experience it again.

The minds of serial killers? Yup. I've come close to that point numerous times during those years. I backed down from a lot of fights to the point that I was being called a bitch by my peers. But was I afraid? I don't think so. Why? Because every time I backed down, it was like I was swallowing an ounce of anger. I figured I'd lose so I just backed down to save face. But to be honest, as the years went by the anger built up. Slowly, bit by bit. So what was my escape? Music. Hip hop and R&B was my safe space. I didn't trust anyone with my innermost thoughts back then. No one.

Mental health professionals are required by law to report homicidal and suicidal conversations to the state government so that was out. Why? Cause the result of that reporting would end up with me in a mental hospital being drugged up with more psychiatric medications against my will. Pain? Yup. My first set of written rhymes were full of rage and a desire to escape the pain I was feeling internally. I didn't want to live somebody else's life. I wanted an escape from mine. When someone is feeling suicidal and/or homicidal, the last thing they want is to be judged and reported to government authorities. They just want to be heard like an off the record conversation between a reporter and a professional athlete.

I was born with bi polar disorder and the choice of medications to manage it is like a judge asking you to choose what type of sentence you will serve. And if you're young or under the care of the government, that decision is made for you. And the crazy part? You must take these medications until the day you die. Pain? Indeed.

So, why did I pick pain as the first topic of this blog? It's simple. Those experiences and trials shaped me into the man I am today. All that music I listened to from 2003 to the present shaped me into the emcee I am today. I am no longer depressed, suicidal nor homicidal. I have become close to God and I no longer feel alone like I used to. Music not only helped me escape my pain, but it also provided me with the opportunity to pay the comfort forward. When you listen to my music, I can't guarantee you will like it 100% of the time. However, I can guarantee that it will be honest and full of the emotions I was feeling at the time as it's writing. Pain is apart of life. Without occasional pain, you can not grow. And without periodic pain, you can't know what parts of your being are in need of some tender loving care. It's that simple.

Love (A Poem)

December 13 2018

Love is sweet

Love is tender

It takes two to manifest

And both partners to nurture

Love is like a growing child

It has it's trials and triumphs

But like a flower in the rain

Love can reach higher than mountains

True love isn't easy

But please believe it is worth it

Every soul has a mate

But they're unknown while they're growing

One must conquer his demons

And give his baggage to ocean

Love is very sweet

Love is also real bitter

But true love is the truth

The key to happy lives

Forever

You Can't Grow If It Is Easy

December 14 2018

Growth, true productive growth, is not for the faint of heart. Just as a seed must break its shell to grow into it's mature state of being, we as humans must overcome the difficulties the holy father puts in our lives in order to become the best people we can be.

No one is perfect. Only the Lord is. And because we aren't perfect, we can't consciously control the future we eventually grow into. I'm going to be honest, this is a cruel world. When you broke filthy and dirty no one wants to have anything to do with you. When you are taking the initial steps towards your destined greatness, no one wants to lend you a hand or make your path a little smoother. It is only when you become the being you are meant to be that the people who didn't give a fuck about you flock to your life like ants to honey.

Don't let the media and corporate culture fool you. This life is not all about the benjamins. We are all connected from the poor diamond miner in Africa to the president of the United States. If we as a global population are to live with harmony and world peace, we as a global population must help the less fortunate attain a way of life that's safe, peaceful, and productive. But hey, when you rise to the top by your own blood sweat and tears, its hard to care about the world around you.

Let me be honest with you: I don't give a rat's ass about the people outside of my fan base, family, and circle of friends. After all the shit I went through growing up and especially the few years after my high school graduation, I have a fuck you I'm a do me attitude. That said, I am tired of people acting like they care about other people when all they want to do in actuality is please their inner ego. And it is because of that fake persona that the majority of the world can't grow.

The world is in constant motion. You either getting better than you were yesterday or worse than you were yesterday. Remember, we are all going to die one day. Whether you end up in heaven or hell after universe court is up to your faith and the way you live your life. But while you are a living breathing member of this earth, you will not be able to grow without trials as you can't grow if its easy. Thank you.

Authenticity (A Poem)

December 15 2018

I was born to be me

Not to be you

God made me unique

Not common like brew

I don't care how you feel

I am who I am

When I'm in hearse wheel

Only fam will give damn

This world is mad cruel

Once you see it you rule

You stop engaging with fools

And start to focus on you

You will not live forever

Opinions don't mean a damn thing

And once soul body is severed

Authenticity will be how you're remembered

The Beginning: Alex Coleman As A Rapper

January 16 2018

Whats up young soldiers. If this happens to be one of the last blog posts that I ever make before I become famous, then at least you will finally realize how Alex Coleman the emcee came to be.

When I was growing up, I didn't want to be a rapper. I wanted to be a soldier. I wasn't even into hip hop until my big brother played a Lil' Bow Wow cd around the year 2000 on the way to his residence in Delaware. I think he owned a Nissan Sentra back then. But once he got that Nissan Frontier in the summer of 2002, it was on. Yo had a massive cd collection that he kept in his truck and a big home stereo system with two multi cd changer units stacked on top of each other. Usher, Jay Z, DMX, Will Smith- You name it, he had it. That summer was lit and were it not for that summer of hip hop immersion, I wouldn't be dropping rhymes- I'd be banging drums.

The first cd that I ever owned was the Run It hit single by Chris Brown. I got it for Christmas in 2005 and played it through my Scion XB r/c via a portable cd player connected by an aux cord. Also, 2003 was the first time I actually listened to music on the radio on a regular basis. Mark Clark on the Big Fat morning show, Ladawn Black and the Love Zone, DJ Quicksilva from D.C's WKYS. Mannn from 2003 to 2008 I listened to 92Q and WKYS on the heavy due to me being immersed in it due to my living situation. Also, aside from the hip hop mix cd's my brother and staff made me, I didn't listen to many cd's during that period of my life. It was just 92Q all day all night. Also, while I did get Ne Yo's first album for Christmas in 2006, I traded it with my roommate for a Now Music cd. Do I regret it? Hell no. Ne Yo is a legend no doubt about it but you gotta remember, before I was into hip hop, I was into rock and pop.

And then came the children's guild- the place where I purchased my first cd and began my first cd collection. The album I started with? Restless by Xzibit. Because of the computers in the group home I was able to immerse myself into hip hop like I never did before. Youtube and Yahoo music were my main online go to music websites. As for cd's, Best Buy was my go to music store as their Security Blvd location was a reasonable distance from where the group home was. If I remember correctly, we got $7 per week for allowance minus possible reduction for bad behavior. Most of my housemates bought snacks and shit. But me? I mainly bought cd's. I would save up my allowance for two weeks and spend it on a album in Best Buy. Long story short, if it wasn't for Best Buy selling the latest albums and 92Q playing the hottest tracks, Alex Coleman the rapper wouldn't be writing this post.

Board of Child care- the place of my best teenage triumphs and my worst teenage trials. However, I will not detail the trials from that period of my life. Instead, I will detail the experiences that helped build me into the hip hop head I am today. When my first cd collection got stolen a few months after moving to cottage 5, I began a new one with cd's that my late aunt gave me. Those albums that I can recall off the top of my head? Sisqo- Unleash The Dragon, TLC- Oooh On The TLC Tip. Once I moved to house 7, the build up of my collection increased with more steam. Once again, Best Buy was my go to music store although I went to the Sound Garden to buy cd's when the opportunity came to do so. And as for my first Nas albums? They were given to me by a staff we called E-Man. When he first gave me the albums that included Illmatic, I Am, and Nastradamas, I didn't know how good Nas really was. To me at the time, I thought Nas was just another rapper. As I got older, I began to realize how wrong I was.

And then there's Nicki Minaj. I'll never forget the time I heard her music for the first time. It was nighttime on Liberty Rd and I'm in the third row of a Chevy Suburban bumping my iPod while my housemates are listening to the radio. Also, I forgot to mention- past 2009, I rarely if ever listened to the radio of my own volition. Once I got my first mp3 player, I mainly listened to music from my cd's and portable music players- something I still do to this day. Anyways back to Nicki Minaj. The first song I heard from her was I Get Crazy. And once Pink Friday dropped a few months later, I copped that at Best Buy and kept it until the girls of house 6 decided to not give back nor replace the cd that I lent them.

My first rhymes- Man were they violent and nothing like the rhymes I write nowadays. Back then I was a smile on the outside rage on the inside until explosion type of guy. I know I said that I wouldn't detail my trials of that time period but because of the state of mind I was in during the compositions of my first books of rhymes, detailing at least the relevant parts of said trials in necessary. Penis head, bitch, coward, pussy- Those terms in my eyes described the perception my Board of Child Care peers had of me back when I was living there. Why? Because I never fought back, even when hit first. I got checked by a girl at school after a negative exchange on Facebook, I got betrayed by a dude I saw as my best friend, got cussed out by my peers online and offline when I decided to act fresh ect. Honestly, I wanted to murder, yes, murder the people who disrespected me. I'm serious. I said death threats so much that people began paying me no mind.

So what were my first rhymes about? If you guessed inflicting physical violence and murder, you are correct. I didn't trust many people back then and because I liked the privileges of being in the good graces of the staff, I put up with the shit that made me want to kill people inside. That said, once I actually decided to record my rhymes for an album in 2013, I put those old rhymes to the side and wrote new ones. The release from that set of new rhymes was called Reign Of The Nigga and in the next paragraph onwards you will learn what you were expecting when you began reading this blog post.

Reign Of The Nigga. Why did I title that release such an offensive title? Why did I even decide to create it? The answers? Simple. 1) I wanted to make an impact and 2) I needed money for a drivers licence retest fee. Reign Of The Nigga is the first and only release where I kept it fake aka rapped about things that I didn't do or wasn't doing. The chorus to the title track is an example of that. "we talk how we want to do what we want to act like we want to we wear what we want to eat what we want to fuck who we want to" . Mind you, at the time of this writing, I have zero experience in sex. Zero. But like other rappers I just wanted money and to be heard.

I didn't know anything about the business. Hell, I didn't even have a microphone. But what I did have was an Xbox 360 usb controller and gaming headset and an innate sense of innovation. Looking back, I don't know how I got the idea of hooking up a controller connected to a gaming headset to a laptop to record music over free beats on Audacity but mannn, I must have done something right or else otherwise I wouldn't have gained my first set of fans.

I could go on about my journey as a rapper but since this post is about the beginning of Alex Coleman as a rapper I will end this post with the following paragraphs.

The music industry preys on the youth. They paint an ideal life of massive financial success that lures youth with fragile and growing mindsets into a lifestyle that eventually leaves them broke, incarcerated, dead, or a combination of the first two.

My rap career was borne out of pain and adversity and it has continued because of my desire to be heard and appreciated. Music was the band aid to my internal pain growing up and God giving me the ability to make my own during one of the worst times of my life enabled me to have a voice in the road race of life. I nearly slit my own wrists with a utility knife in 2014 before leaving for the streets and learning how cruel the world truly is as a homeless man in Baltimore City. And to be clear, I was getting kicked out of the residential program I was in at the time and since I figured I'd be living in the streets anyway I decided to do so on my own terms.

So yeah, when my life is celebrated as a success, don't forget the contents of this post. I may have began my rap career from a period of emotional pain but I turned that rough beginning into an amazing present. And guess what? This present is only the beginning. That being said, thanks for reading this long ass blog post about how I evolved into the emcee I am today and stay strong and God bless.